Sunday, January 29, 2006

Five Things 

I stole this from la girl

five places i've vacationed to:
- aix-en-provence, france
- tuebingen, germany
- washington d.c.
- vancouver, canada
- scottsdale, az

five movies i can watch over and over again:
- 10 things i hate about you
- old school
- office space
- amelie
- anchorman

five jobs and places i've worked:
- frosh cheerleading coach at chino high
- receptionist at donna nieman salon and day spa
- 2nd asst. mgr at red eye
- rainforest cafe/chili's/on the border
- substitute teacher

five favorite food dishes:
- mama's plate at el farolito
- tuna noodle casserole
- deep fried ice cream
- fish sticks
- egg roll on a stick

five websites i visit daily:
- bank of america
- dlisted
- myspace
- fotki.com/kgrauer
- nll.com

five things i've learned today:
- the lead singer of linkin park takes his family to see the la avengers
- time can heal pain
- friday's offers an excellent pulled pork sandwich
- to avoid traffic on the 5 in la, one can get off on the 710 in order to hit the 60 or 10 freeways going north
- orlando's mom has trouble pronouncing the word, "worms"

five reasons i stayed up way too late last night:
- michelle
- drinking
- myspace
- microdermabrasion
- self-love

five songs that will make me stop scanning the radio:
- "wild world"
- "daydream believer"
- "i touch myself"
- "material girl"
- "lean on me"

Not much has changed, eh? Posted by Picasa

Thursday, January 19, 2006

It was the best of sites, it was the worst of sites. 

MySpace. The single most useful site in the tools of a stalker. And if you haven't noticed, I am one.

MySpace serves as a track record for one's social history. For example, me and #7 (see "The 10 spot") have been corresponding via MySpace. Me and #7 were heading towards a reunion of sorts, when all of a sudden #7 hasn't been as quick to respond to messages this week as normal. After going through #7's comments, one can infer that #7 has been occupied with a certain other MySpace female friend (This also was verified by going to said friend's site and looking at her comment history.) Which brings me to my next point......

MySpace serves as a cockblock. Want that certain someone's girl (or guy) pals to question his activities? Well then, put a picture of the two of you up. Better yet, a scantily (sp?) picture of yourself. Or even a comment that suggests that the two of you have been "close" in some way. No matter what - post on their site and post often. You'll get that "back off bitches" message across.

MySpace serves as a means for self-promotion. Have y'all seen my page? My ID pic is hot (imho). I'd f*** me. Here's the deal though, I don't actually look like that everyday. (But don't tell Cyrus the Virus that.) So carefully select some hot or skanky pics of yourself in order to utilise the next tool....

MySpace serves as a former flame locator. Ever wonder what happened to that person you slept with a few years back? Chances are they are on here. Maybe they don't have a detailed site, but more than likely they have been told by friends, "man, you gotta check this page out" and thus, have been forced to register. If things didn't end sour, then request they be your friend and let them see how F***ing awesome you look these days. Because more than likely, you won't run into him on the street. You will, however, find him on MySpace. (Trust me, have found several. Although the one I really want to find, and you blogreaders know who that Canadian masterpiece is, I have yet to find.)

I must put out this warning. It very well may suck you in. If you are in a relationship already, you are safe. However, singles stalkers like myself are VERY susceptible to it's powers. Believe it or not, I have a life. A to-do list a mile long. Yet I find myself running home to check my comments and messages. Seeing how many times my profile hath been viewed. You are a bastard, MySpace. But damn do I love you.

Monday, January 16, 2006

If I can't be in Paris, I might as well be in Anaheim 

Another good reason for not going to Gay Paree.....I wouldn't have been able to afford to purchase partial ownership of a Los Angeles Angels of Anaslime mini-plan. That's right, a Yankee's home opener, rally monkies and 27 games split down the middle with one Holly W. If this doesn't attract a boyfriend, then F if know what does.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Once upon a time, I was blonde 

And now I'm not.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

MySpace, MyFuture 

Not that I'm looking for anyone to settle down with right now, but I think this is a great place to find my future husband. Even though I put that I'm only on MySpace for friends, I still get such great soliciations as these:

**FYI: these quotes are said in content and have not been grammatically corrected.

dammmmmm you FINE

wussup you look good, hopefully your single lol, s o yeah get at me, bye

your a cutie....we should be totally making out! (like totally!!)


how are you? is santa bringing you any presents?

Say Whaat:
damn im lovin the pics. im in egypt bored and just started myspace. i thought i never would...just wanted to say ur sexc (and ur creepE)


Pt 1-
hey Kristy, im really interested in meeting and being with an older woman, would you be interested in being with a younger guy? (ouch! older?? i guess it's my time)

Pt 2-
hey there Kristy, my name is chris and i live in lakewood and i was just curious if you were interested in having someone that you could order around. im talking about a sex slave that will obey your every order and constantly please you. let me know if you are interested. im a younger guy looking for an older mature woman. ya think you can handle me? i can send a pic... (there he goes with that older thing again. ya know i'm only 4 years older than you, buddy)


Jersey Kid aka mDc:
hello girl....im mikey d...i just moved here from jersey. im italain mature and looking for some a nice girl to hook up with..im in temecula. i would do u 4 sure

And last but not least, my favorite, Cyrus the Virus:

Pt 1-
dam u look good i pove ur curves so hott.u have yahoo or aol to talk on?i wanna meet. muah cyrus

can i pleas e just cuddle withu?ill beby ur town tonight we should meet. ur cute and have the best curves mmm. hit me back with number.

Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

It looks like he's on MySpace.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Not that it matters but... 

The below post about New Year's firsts was written this evening. However, the date reads 12/27/05. It's because I scrapped a previous work in progress and started writing this, but it kept the old date. Not that anybody gives a shit though. I do, however. Because I'm a f***ing freak.

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