Thursday, January 19, 2006
It was the best of sites, it was the worst of sites.
MySpace. The single most useful site in the tools of a stalker. And if you haven't noticed, I am one.
MySpace serves as a track record for one's social history. For example, me and #7 (see "The 10 spot") have been corresponding via MySpace. Me and #7 were heading towards a reunion of sorts, when all of a sudden #7 hasn't been as quick to respond to messages this week as normal. After going through #7's comments, one can infer that #7 has been occupied with a certain other MySpace female friend (This also was verified by going to said friend's site and looking at her comment history.) Which brings me to my next point......
MySpace serves as a cockblock. Want that certain someone's girl (or guy) pals to question his activities? Well then, put a picture of the two of you up. Better yet, a scantily (sp?) picture of yourself. Or even a comment that suggests that the two of you have been "close" in some way. No matter what - post on their site and post often. You'll get that "back off bitches" message across.
MySpace serves as a means for self-promotion. Have y'all seen my page? My ID pic is hot (imho). I'd f*** me. Here's the deal though, I don't actually look like that everyday. (But don't tell Cyrus the Virus that.) So carefully select some hot or skanky pics of yourself in order to utilise the next tool....
MySpace serves as a former flame locator. Ever wonder what happened to that person you slept with a few years back? Chances are they are on here. Maybe they don't have a detailed site, but more than likely they have been told by friends, "man, you gotta check this page out" and thus, have been forced to register. If things didn't end sour, then request they be your friend and let them see how F***ing awesome you look these days. Because more than likely, you won't run into him on the street. You will, however, find him on MySpace. (Trust me, have found several. Although the one I really want to find, and you blogreaders know who that Canadian masterpiece is, I have yet to find.)
I must put out this warning. It very well may suck you in. If you are in a relationship already, you are safe. However, singles stalkers like myself are VERY susceptible to it's powers. Believe it or not, I have a life. A to-do list a mile long. Yet I find myself running home to check my comments and messages. Seeing how many times my profile hath been viewed. You are a bastard, MySpace. But damn do I love you.
MySpace serves as a track record for one's social history. For example, me and #7 (see "The 10 spot") have been corresponding via MySpace. Me and #7 were heading towards a reunion of sorts, when all of a sudden #7 hasn't been as quick to respond to messages this week as normal. After going through #7's comments, one can infer that #7 has been occupied with a certain other MySpace female friend (This also was verified by going to said friend's site and looking at her comment history.) Which brings me to my next point......
MySpace serves as a cockblock. Want that certain someone's girl (or guy) pals to question his activities? Well then, put a picture of the two of you up. Better yet, a scantily (sp?) picture of yourself. Or even a comment that suggests that the two of you have been "close" in some way. No matter what - post on their site and post often. You'll get that "back off bitches" message across.
MySpace serves as a means for self-promotion. Have y'all seen my page? My ID pic is hot (imho). I'd f*** me. Here's the deal though, I don't actually look like that everyday. (But don't tell Cyrus the Virus that.) So carefully select some hot or skanky pics of yourself in order to utilise the next tool....
MySpace serves as a former flame locator. Ever wonder what happened to that person you slept with a few years back? Chances are they are on here. Maybe they don't have a detailed site, but more than likely they have been told by friends, "man, you gotta check this page out" and thus, have been forced to register. If things didn't end sour, then request they be your friend and let them see how F***ing awesome you look these days. Because more than likely, you won't run into him on the street. You will, however, find him on MySpace. (Trust me, have found several. Although the one I really want to find, and you blogreaders know who that Canadian masterpiece is, I have yet to find.)
I must put out this warning. It very well may suck you in. If you are in a relationship already, you are safe. However, singles stalkers like myself are VERY susceptible to it's powers. Believe it or not, I have a life. A to-do list a mile long. Yet I find myself running home to check my comments and messages. Seeing how many times my profile hath been viewed. You are a bastard, MySpace. But damn do I love you.
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