Crazy Cat Lady

First drink (after champagne): Vodka tonic
First bonehead drunk move: kick over a coffee table (by accident, of course)
First movie watched: Fever Pitch
First TV show: The Twilight Zone (the old school 60's one)
First activity (after getting home safely): sleep all day long
First drug: ibuprofen
First prayer: for the health and safety of my family and for my hangover to go away before next New Year's Eve
First breakfast: leftover CPK white pizza
First chore: taking out the trash
First bill paid: rent
First outfit worn: jeans and a "Girl Scouts Gone Wild" shirt
First voice mail: Michelle
First IM conversation: Texas
First phone conversation: my mom
First MySpace comment: Ferrari Models Wanted by Skyler
First resolution broken: eat healthier
First guy to blow me off: DHL Dave
First regret: not going to Paris

Me and my Grandpa at Honolulu Harry's - Christmas Eve 2005.  

So, I'm not going to Paris.

What it came down to is, the girl I was supposed to go with can't go because she couldn't get her VISA in time, so that means I would be going by myself. Now, I could still go if I wanted because I would have a place to stay, but that's not exactly what I signed up for. I signed on for Dianne and partying with her for two weeks, not bumming around by myself or with people I barely know. I know - it doesn't sounds like the adventurous Kristy that we all know and love (or sometimes love), but it's just not what I am up for right now. I wanted to be able to show someone who has never been all of the cool places that I got to experience when I lived there. I wanted a wingman for the all the bars we would visit. I wanted a girl companion.

And while, I'm a bit bummed I'm not going to be spending New Year's Eve on a street somewhere near Notre Dame, there are some definite benefits of not going. So here is my, "I'm not going to Paris, big whoop" pro/con list:

Cons:
-No cool New Year's eve stories to tell when I get back
-No scamming on French tail (or Canadian at the Moosehead Pub in the 6th)
-No Nutella crepes
-No city views from Montmarte
-No hot chocolate at Angelina
-No Amelie re-enactments
-No 1E50 bottles of wine
-No returns to the Red Clover in Aix
-No D-Day beach visits to take pics for my grandpa
-No ice cream at Berthillon
-No black/white photography of Paris buildings
-No sending Anna's little girl Gia a postcard from the Eiffel Tower
-No 24 hour exposure to the language d'amour
-No shopping at H&M, Pimkie or Galeries Lafayette
-Losing out on $594.50 for my flight

Pros:
-No more pending flight anxiety
-Possibly paying off my car with the money I'm saving
-Getting to spend New Year's with my roommie!
-Relief for my parents who really didn't want me to go by myself
-Not having to pack/unpack (a very dreaded task)
-Not having to shuffle to try and find a ride to the airport
-Not having to worry about Muslim dissident youth causing a riot
-No urine smelling Paris underground transit
-Not having to sacrifice a whole week of vacation the first week of the year
-Not being as behind when I return to work
-Not gaining another 1000 pounds from all of the French goodies I would no doubtedly gorged
-Being able to sleep in a nice comfy warm bed and not on a couch or floor
-No RER B train ride from Charles de Gaulle to inner Paris with two big ol' suitcases
-Being able to use my spa gift certificates from Tracy sooner
-Being able to spend some of my precious time off with my family
-Extra money to shop and pay bills
-Ability to get a jump on those 3 bottle of Grey Goose that await me on my kitchen counter

As I was typing this out, I started to think, shit, maybe I should go. But what I have to remember is that Europe will always be there, and by the time I go back it will be for much longer and I will have a lot more money and flexibility to really do what I want without putting myself in a financial strain. And I've said it once, I'll say it again. Everything happens for a reason.

It's pretty well-known that I have a rapid-fire tongue. I say a lot of things. A LOT of things. But I guess if you don't know me that well, you wouldn't know that most of what comes out of my mouth isn't meant.

Example #1:

"God, I hate that guy."

See, I don't reeeeeeally hate that guy. (And usually when I say 'God, I hate that guy' I'm referring to my roommate's boss.) I strongly dislike him. But one thing you may also not know about me is that I'm lazy. So, why go out of my way to say, "God, I strongly dislike that guy," when I can shortcut it with "hate?" And yes, I know. "Hate" is a strong word. But you know what I really hate? When people say to me, "hate is a strong word." There are very few people I hate on this earth. Osama and Saddam, are a couple of examples.

Example #2:

"Hey skank" (or slut, hooker, bitch, etc.)

See, I don't reeeeeeally think that person is a skank. More often than not, I'm skankier than the person I call skank. It's really a term of endearment. It means that I like the person enough to feel I can kid around with them without them taking me seriously. So skank = good friend.

Let's recap.

Hate doesn't necessarily mean hate. Skank doesn't always mean skank. You should be letting most of what I say slide by, otherwise you will find yourself seriously offended.

Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis

Nicole Richie and DJ AM

Kimberely Stewart and Talan from Laguna Beach the Real Orange County


Is there any wonder why I have no hope for a happy romantic future?