Crazy Cat Lady

It's pretty well-known that I have a rapid-fire tongue. I say a lot of things. A LOT of things. But I guess if you don't know me that well, you wouldn't know that most of what comes out of my mouth isn't meant.

Example #1:

"God, I hate that guy."

See, I don't reeeeeeally hate that guy. (And usually when I say 'God, I hate that guy' I'm referring to my roommate's boss.) I strongly dislike him. But one thing you may also not know about me is that I'm lazy. So, why go out of my way to say, "God, I strongly dislike that guy," when I can shortcut it with "hate?" And yes, I know. "Hate" is a strong word. But you know what I really hate? When people say to me, "hate is a strong word." There are very few people I hate on this earth. Osama and Saddam, are a couple of examples.

Example #2:

"Hey skank" (or slut, hooker, bitch, etc.)

See, I don't reeeeeeally think that person is a skank. More often than not, I'm skankier than the person I call skank. It's really a term of endearment. It means that I like the person enough to feel I can kid around with them without them taking me seriously. So skank = good friend.

Let's recap.

Hate doesn't necessarily mean hate. Skank doesn't always mean skank. You should be letting most of what I say slide by, otherwise you will find yourself seriously offended.