Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Top 10 reasons why it's good that he chucked me
Got the speech tonight. You know, the one that goes a little something like, "I just thought it's best that I be straightforward with you...I hope we can still be friends...I still wanna hang out....yada yada yada." If you're lucky, you haven't heard that one. I, on the other hand, can recite it backwards and forwards. So in the spirit of Monty Python, I'm going to "always look on the bright side of life."
1. Can go back to being a slut.
2. Can go back to long afternoon naps instead of frantically cleaning the apartment in anticipation of his arrival.
3. No more razorburn from the constant shaving of the pubes.
4. No longer have to conceal the fact that I'm actually a raging drunk.
5. Free and clear for potential shagging at Boston Bob's wedding on Saturday.
6. No more sleeplessness during sleepovers.
7. A break from tedious blowjobs.
8. Ready to mingle when baseball season starts on the 7th (That mini-plan we bought should be a great investment.)
9. No more of that pesky self-confidence that comes from thinking someone actually likes you and is attracted to you.
10. No more guilt from faking my orgasms.
1. Can go back to being a slut.
2. Can go back to long afternoon naps instead of frantically cleaning the apartment in anticipation of his arrival.
3. No more razorburn from the constant shaving of the pubes.
4. No longer have to conceal the fact that I'm actually a raging drunk.
5. Free and clear for potential shagging at Boston Bob's wedding on Saturday.
6. No more sleeplessness during sleepovers.
7. A break from tedious blowjobs.
8. Ready to mingle when baseball season starts on the 7th (That mini-plan we bought should be a great investment.)
9. No more of that pesky self-confidence that comes from thinking someone actually likes you and is attracted to you.
10. No more guilt from faking my orgasms.
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