Thursday, September 02, 2004
Some major rantage
This rant has been long overdue. ***
Here's a little story for everyone. Joe Obnoxious is in the market for an SUV. A big one. Probably because he has a small penis. Joe heads down to Ford of Orange and lays down a chunk for an Exclusion, Excursion, Expedition.... whatever the hell they are called. The second Joe signs on the dotted line, a funny thing happens in his brain - he no longer can comprehend the meaning of the word "compact." You see, Joe thinks it's okay to park that fat ass gas-guzzler of his, in a spot that is ten times too small for a vehicle of his size, one that's so small that it's creator decides to title the space "COMPACT." Same thing happened to Lazy Mary. Lazy Mary couldn't stand to park 10 feet further away in a bigger space, so her, her fat can and her tank of a Tahoe wedge themselves in between two Kias. Who cares if the car next to you can't open their door?? You got a better spot! Way to go Lazy Mary! The worst of them all is Douchebag Dave. Douchebag Dave is so inconsiderate of other drivers that he decides to take up two spaces with his car, regardless of it's size. I guess the poor douchebag doesn't want anyone to accidentally chip his paint should they open their door a little too wide. Understandable, were he to park out where it wasn't heavily populated, but nope, add him to the list of lazies. I'd be careful though DD, if I had just a little more crazy in me (and from the looks of things that's not too far off) I would take the key to my compact Nissan 200SX and run it the length of your car, and leave you a nice little note to accompany that beautiful new accessory.
**Yeah, you all knew I was crazy, but don't judge me because I know there are things out there that make you as equally insane.
Here's a little story for everyone. Joe Obnoxious is in the market for an SUV. A big one. Probably because he has a small penis. Joe heads down to Ford of Orange and lays down a chunk for an Exclusion, Excursion, Expedition.... whatever the hell they are called. The second Joe signs on the dotted line, a funny thing happens in his brain - he no longer can comprehend the meaning of the word "compact." You see, Joe thinks it's okay to park that fat ass gas-guzzler of his, in a spot that is ten times too small for a vehicle of his size, one that's so small that it's creator decides to title the space "COMPACT." Same thing happened to Lazy Mary. Lazy Mary couldn't stand to park 10 feet further away in a bigger space, so her, her fat can and her tank of a Tahoe wedge themselves in between two Kias. Who cares if the car next to you can't open their door?? You got a better spot! Way to go Lazy Mary! The worst of them all is Douchebag Dave. Douchebag Dave is so inconsiderate of other drivers that he decides to take up two spaces with his car, regardless of it's size. I guess the poor douchebag doesn't want anyone to accidentally chip his paint should they open their door a little too wide. Understandable, were he to park out where it wasn't heavily populated, but nope, add him to the list of lazies. I'd be careful though DD, if I had just a little more crazy in me (and from the looks of things that's not too far off) I would take the key to my compact Nissan 200SX and run it the length of your car, and leave you a nice little note to accompany that beautiful new accessory.
**Yeah, you all knew I was crazy, but don't judge me because I know there are things out there that make you as equally insane.
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