Crazy Cat Lady

I had a paper due last Thursday in my French conversation class. He gaves us a list of several topics that we could write on, and while alcohol was my first choice, I instead decided to write about my faults because I know I have a lot of material with which to work. Then he told us he was giving us five bonus points for reading to the class. So all you kids who read my blog are no longer part of the priviledged group that knows what a freak I am, now my entire class is part of the club. (But now that I think about it, most who meet me know I'm nuttier than squirrel crap.) So I present to you my freewrite on mes defauts.

>>I hate it when people ask me, "Why don't you have a boyfriend, Kristy?" Often I respond with, "I don't have the time" or "I don't know why" or "I don't want one." But the truth? It's probably due to my faults. For example, I'm lacking patience and responsiblity. I don't like children and I laugh when they trip and fall. I eat too many desserts and I drink too much vodka. I like to watch shows without substance, like The OC, Elimidate and Days of our Lives. I have road rage, and I swear at people who drive like crap. I often forget things, like last night I forgot to read for my French Civilization class (that was my way of telling Najib not to call on me next class). I like to make fun of people. Especially people like Ryan Seacrest and Jessica Simpson, and people who sing bad at kareoke. But me? I sing bad, too. I never save money and I always spend a lot of it on booze, clothes and DVD's. I'm always late. Even though I have two young nephews, I never babysit for my sister. I know that I should go to church on Sunday, but after having gone out Saturday night, I always like to sleep in the next day. I'm too cheap to have my car washed and too lazy to do it myself, so the car stays dirty until I can't see through the windshield. Although I brush my teeth, I have a lot of cavities due to my love of sugar and hatred of the dentist. Furthermore, I don't have any money for dental insurance, but I have plenty for a weekend in Vegas. I realize that I have several poor qualities, but I promise I have one or two good ones.<<

So there it is, a short list indeed, but my teacher said it was very good. Keep in mind it reads simple in English, but there's some very tricky French grammer in that bad boy. Now if I only knew English grammer. Now that I think about it, is it grammer or grammar?? Too lazy to look it up.