Crazy Cat Lady

Thanks to those of you who have said mean things about my most recent love interest (see below). Normally this brings me great pleasure. There is, however, one slight difference between him (we'll call him the Canadian) and all the rest. He was actually a decent human being. We're talking everything I like wrapped into one - considerate, funny, polite, hot, athletic, talented (take that last one however you like). He was never concerned with himself, only with others, and always a genuine pleasure to be around. I mean, the first night we hung out with him was his birthday and he's trying to still buy us drinks. He kept refusing to let us treat him. Then after we left his hotel room, the Canadian could have gone straight to bed because he had a crack of dawn flight, but instead waited up another 45 minutes to call and make sure we got home alright.

There were only two small things wrong with him:
1) He lives in another country
2) He obviously didn't like me as much as I liked him.
And those are things he can't even help. Which makes this one hard to get over, because at least with all the others I liked, they had a**hole qualities that provided me with fuel to recover. But this one only (as far as I knew) had great qualities. So earlier when I said I cried and "got over" him........well, not so much. I did all the things that I thought would help speed my recovery - took the Anaheim Storm sticker off my folder, the magnet of their schedule off the fridge, deleted the link to his picture on the website, etc etc. But almost a week later and I'm still pining. Ugh. What the hell is my problem?

And yes, for those of you reading this, I know you're thinking - why the f*** are you liking a guy who lives so far away (again)? Because, as most of you may know, the last three I've been somewhat emotionally attached to have lived, at the very least, 1400 miles away from me. And no, this is not done intentionally. It's just happened that way. But with the Canadian, I knew that I was gonna have to let go of him at some point. I was just hoping that would be later than sooner. Because to me it was worth having to do that in order to spend time with him for the next couple of months, not to mention spending time with the other players - also very cool guys, and going to the games - which were very fun. I think it hurts most knowing the possibility that I won't see him (or any of them) again.

Now if I wanted to, I could try calling to find out what happened. But no. I'm not going to be that girl. I used to be that girl. I'm not going to be that girl anymore. There's nothing that drives me more crazy than not knowing. Honesty can be tough sometimes, but I would prefer to know where I stand, ya know? But I'm not going to call someone who does not want to talk to me for some reason or another. In high school, I was the girl that, even though all the signs were there that he wasn't into me, kept pestering him anyway. I hate high school Kristy in that aspect. So instead of calling him (just in case his phone got nuked and lost my number and he accidentally deleted my email address, having no means of contacting me) I will just sit here and be content with airing my thoughts to random readers on the internet. It is, I have to admit, very cathartic. It's aiding me in the healing process. And once I have this behind me, I'll work on moving towards becoming a normal adult, and moving away from unhealthy, insane, irrational thoughts. For now, I must get to bed. Big day tomorrow. And if it goes well, I'll tell you all about it.

Who am I kidding? You're gonna hear about it regardless.