Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Am I a freak....
-because when I go to the grocery store, I dig down to the fourth or fifth shopping basket because I think that more people have put their filthy hands all over the first few?
-because I try to use the edge of my sleeve to cover the handle of said basket?
-because when I was 15, I stood out on a busy road waiting for my ex-boyfriend to drive by on his way to work so that I could hold up a sign that says, "I miss you, Aaron"?
-because I am overly excited about my own mailbox, phone extension, cubicle (properly titled by the staff as "the penalty box"), and morganstanley.com email address?
-because I often eat the border of a candy bar first before going for the nougaty (sp?) center?
-because I laugh when children fall down?
-because I still have my favorite "Gotcha" sweatshirt from the seventh grade, despite the several large holes in it?
-because I just spent five minutes looking for the sweatshirt to verify it was indeed "Gotcha" and not "Rusty"?
-because I like the "Milkshake" song?
-because I kept the first voicemail the CPLP sent me for about a month and listened to it about 4 times a week just so I could hear his adorable accent? ("Hallo, almoost, aboot")
-because I used to make my cat dress up in my Cabbage Patch Kid and Teddy Ruxpin clothes?
-because I spent over 4 years believing a guy really cared about me when it was insanely obvious he didn't?
-because I once called my mom a dildo not knowing what it really was, then when my dad overheard me and was going to make me to look it up in the dictionary, I told him it's not a real word, I made it up?
-because I now know what a dildo is, and gave mine a name?
-because I read the Sunday ads in a very specific order and get pissed if my mom spoils what is in the ad? (Target is always last because it's my favorite).
-because I get super, super (not just super but super super) irritated when people either a) go slow inthe carpool lane or b) cross over the double line in the carpool lane?
-because when I was 14, I used to talk my then best friend's dad into driving 5 miles out of the way so I could go by the guy I liked's house to see if he was outside or in his front window? (Snaps to Dave Proulx for those several times of wasted gas.)
-because I wanna yak when I see a gas-guzzling, environment-killing, terrorist-supporting Suburban with a "soccer mom" sticker? (It's what it represents, people. And what is that? What I never want to be. PS- If I ever, ever have a "soccer mom" sticker on my vehicle of choice (and I'm pretty sure it won't be a mini-van or suburban), this is my statement authorizing you to shoot me in the head twice.)
-because when I see an animal laying in the gutter, if there is no obvious sign of severe wouding, I try to tell myself that the animal is just sleeping?
-because I think Doug from "Trading Spaces" is hot? (Though for the record I would never let any of those freaks, except Vern, lay a finger on my house.)
So now that you know all this, do you still want to admit you're my friend?
-because I try to use the edge of my sleeve to cover the handle of said basket?
-because when I was 15, I stood out on a busy road waiting for my ex-boyfriend to drive by on his way to work so that I could hold up a sign that says, "I miss you, Aaron"?
-because I am overly excited about my own mailbox, phone extension, cubicle (properly titled by the staff as "the penalty box"), and morganstanley.com email address?
-because I often eat the border of a candy bar first before going for the nougaty (sp?) center?
-because I laugh when children fall down?
-because I still have my favorite "Gotcha" sweatshirt from the seventh grade, despite the several large holes in it?
-because I just spent five minutes looking for the sweatshirt to verify it was indeed "Gotcha" and not "Rusty"?
-because I like the "Milkshake" song?
-because I kept the first voicemail the CPLP sent me for about a month and listened to it about 4 times a week just so I could hear his adorable accent? ("Hallo, almoost, aboot")
-because I used to make my cat dress up in my Cabbage Patch Kid and Teddy Ruxpin clothes?
-because I spent over 4 years believing a guy really cared about me when it was insanely obvious he didn't?
-because I once called my mom a dildo not knowing what it really was, then when my dad overheard me and was going to make me to look it up in the dictionary, I told him it's not a real word, I made it up?
-because I now know what a dildo is, and gave mine a name?
-because I read the Sunday ads in a very specific order and get pissed if my mom spoils what is in the ad? (Target is always last because it's my favorite).
-because I get super, super (not just super but super super) irritated when people either a) go slow inthe carpool lane or b) cross over the double line in the carpool lane?
-because when I was 14, I used to talk my then best friend's dad into driving 5 miles out of the way so I could go by the guy I liked's house to see if he was outside or in his front window? (Snaps to Dave Proulx for those several times of wasted gas.)
-because I wanna yak when I see a gas-guzzling, environment-killing, terrorist-supporting Suburban with a "soccer mom" sticker? (It's what it represents, people. And what is that? What I never want to be. PS- If I ever, ever have a "soccer mom" sticker on my vehicle of choice (and I'm pretty sure it won't be a mini-van or suburban), this is my statement authorizing you to shoot me in the head twice.)
-because when I see an animal laying in the gutter, if there is no obvious sign of severe wouding, I try to tell myself that the animal is just sleeping?
-because I think Doug from "Trading Spaces" is hot? (Though for the record I would never let any of those freaks, except Vern, lay a finger on my house.)
So now that you know all this, do you still want to admit you're my friend?
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